Today I wanted to talk to you about battles. No, not of the 1066 or Waterloo variety! I just wanted to touch (very lightly for now) some of my ongoing internal battles – those conflicts that occur within and which have been keeping me stuck.
Certainty Vs the need for uncertainty
Tony Robbins believes that we all have the same six basic, universal needs that make us tick and drive human behavior. He says that combined, they are the force behind everything we do.
Interestingly the first need is for certainty/comfort and the second is uncertainty/variety. Wow! When I read this I had a real ‘ah-ha’ moment – I feel like i’m in constant battle between these two needs. If someone asked me what I crave more out of the two it would most definitely be the need for certainty, but at the same time I think that clinging to this need has been preventing me from taking the action that I need (want!) to take in order to move my life forwards and get out of this ‘rut’ that I find myself in. My certainty vs uncertainty ratio is definitely out of whack!
It’s a real bugger isn’t it? I think I was born anxious! I struggled with it all through childhood and I don’t mean it lightly when I say that school was a traumatic experience! The best days of your life – I don’t think so!
Anxiety is something i’m in consstant battle with, and I must admit, a lot of the time it does get the better of me and holds me back, but there have been moments where I’ve pushed through and come out the other side with a few battle scars going ‘I’m so glad I did that’!
I think it’s time for a list…..’cos who doesn’t love a list? (Especially the ‘certainty’ craving among us!)
Here are a ten things which get my stomach churning and make me want to hide under a duvet for three days with only Netflix and chocolate to keep me going! Hopefully you can relate 🙂
- Work – urgh! Where do I start with this one. I think this needs a blog post all of it’s own.
- Meeting new people – ‘they’ll probably think i’m stupid/boring/weird/awkward/ugly/all of the above’.
- Spending time with people i already know! See number 2.
- Doing anything new – some people relish new and novel experiences. Me? Not so much.
- Looking at my bank balance / money – I have a real scarcity mentality and i’m terrified of going broke.
- Growing older – After around age 28 I began to hate and dread birthdays! How sad is that?!
- Being asked to do a presentation or speak in front of a group – gives me THE FEAR. I avoid at all costs.
- ‘Wasting’ the day – I find it hard to get started on tasks which need doing but at the same time anxious if I procrastinate too much or spend the day doing nothing ‘productive’.
- Going out.
- Staying in.
Until next time xx